Hi, it’s me again – standing in the need of prayer. You know in my insulated cocoon of life, I’d NEVER heard the term burn notice, vaguely knew about blackballing, clearly not to the magnitude of what I’ve recently learned about and that I am currently in the process of experiencing. Never knew that one family of Feinbergs could generate an Army of hate, lies and actions that seems to mimick the holocaust, the Dachau as well as the Concentration Camps. I’ve parlayed TerroRcaust for holocaust, Blackau for Dachau and Ruination Camp for Concentration Camp – the Black version if you will.
One of the many privileges that Bullies and domestic terrorists seem to enjoy and thrive on is FEAR and Intimidation as well as Paranoid and/or Delusional Oblivion. I’ve gone from being below the radar of life to above the radar of life simply because of the racist hate of one Jeff Feinberg to millions of people hating and working overtime to destroy me, this includes the Government of which I honorably served, but many of us know, that doesn’t mean anything for black people. I’ve informed you I am in a do or die scenario and I get subliminal threats weekly and frankly I am not moved. How can one be moved when you know from the core, the recesses and the fiber of your soul you never did one thing to your Bully for his sledge hammer to gnat actions, so to give it frankly, I just don’t give a manure. There comes a time when one, you, me, we have to fight back – period, even if one, you, me, we stand alone. Alone meaning from the human element, not at all suggesting without God. Clearly, I would not be able to write out my hurt, pain, anger without the comfort and strength of God, the protection of the Holy Spirit and the love of Jesus Christ. I will underscore this is NOT business as usual.
I am going to get back to the point of this Blog, but I write from raw emotions at a snapshot in time, so you may see a lot of digressions. Sometimes when I am writing, I feel burning all over my body and I feel as if I am levitating – this is the trauma of it all. I feel like if I stand up, I will fall down. I feel so alone many times. But this is where it borders on pity, and this is not my aim, just true raw emotions. So back to the strength woman, lol! Coming back down.
So Bullies and domestic terrorists – feed off the fears of others. As long as you are afraid and kow tow they can flex in victory, but when challenged, they have to call on many others to assist them in their demonic activity. So as I’ve learned, when you fight bully terrorists back (no doubt he would do the same if mal treated and abused just for the hell of it). You see when a Bully decides to eeny meeny miney mo people for targeting, he needs to get the G2, the backstory, because everyone doesn’t or won’t t eat racist manure all their damn life.
Some of us are willing to give up our lives to expose their just cause they damn can evil, to be the sacrificial lamb if it means saving others, not everyone is self-centered, there are few that still care and love the greater good of people, there are those of us that believe in brother’s keepers, there are those of us that will die, so others can live – hell if it wasn’t, blacks would still be in the previous form of slavery. You know some of us are just altruistic.
You know some of us may have been abused and this is the last damn time. Some are willing to go all the way after such heinous abuse. Some are sick and tired of being sick and tired of unjust evil and will fight til the death. Because at the end of the day, this is straight and in some other vernacular, say “scraight” bull shit! I am not feeling really Christian right now. Frankly, I am feeling straight up street. Anger has a tendency to do that. So all the Dr. Charles Stanley, Surviving In An Angry World listening I did yesterday is not permeating at this very moment, but it did yesterday when that jackal tried to run me off the road. That will be in another blog.
Like I say, I digress. It is amazing the range of emotions one can go through while writing a blog with the hopes of a healing end state. I’ve decided not to suffer my pain in private, for sure if I did, I would crack up, so the world will be able to read it all and prayerfully see how God will transform a traumatized angry woman to one of pure faith, trust, deliverance and restoration or not. I am counting on the previous, come hell or high water.
My blog will not be prettied and fancied up, it will be so you can can see the struggles, see the path of growth overcoming…. A diamond is not an automatic sparkling diamond, a beautiful rose didn’t just blossom. So this diamond you will see in the rawest, purest and oft times ugliest rough as I journey you through this bull shit of Bullying and Domestic Terrorism.
Yes, I love the Lord, yes I curse when I am angry or pissed off. I wish I could say, I was so down in the word/scripture that I dare not do that. I wish I could say, that I live a dot every “i”, cross every “t” type of life. I wish I could say, I have “not fallen short that everything I did/do was/is of God, but it is not that way, has not been that way, but prayerfully my life will become that way one day – and that’s the way it is, it’s just like that – hooah! And you know what, I am not going to let it stop me from revealing this ugly truth of Bully Terrorism.
You know that Door Number 3 we don’t want the world to see and the Bully tries to use that as leverage to keep you/us paralyzed in fear so he can continue to haunt and taunt you, me, we, us – fuck him. Take your power back and tell your own shit and DO NOT LIVE IN FEAR of no stinkin, lying ass Bully terrorist! I tell you, I am getting back to this Bully Burn Notice and Employment Blacklisting Blog or I may have to change the title for now as I do not want my Blog to be book in my Blog space. So I may have to come back to this title in a separate Blog.
One of the many things that haunt me in this Bullying – is the number of people the Feinbergs destroyed before social networking became available. The number of people Lavonne Adams gangstalked to a mental institution (see her email in this Blog). Oh, I have so much to tell, display before it is all said and done, the number of people dead in car intentionals written up as freakin car accidents, all these deaths these murderers have gotten away with and yet, they go to work everyday in a suit and tie as if they are God fearing upstanding citizens, knowing they have killed or ruined people for sheer joy and they sleep well at night, consciousless fucks. I am going to have some serious repenting to do after this Blog. All this to get tot he Burn Notices, I will just make this Part 1, it is like the prelude of anger thinking about plucking people out of society to fucking ruin.
He ain’t no better than Hitler. Are any of us, just different manifestations huh as we ALL have sinned, Mr. FeinBeastBerg? He so damn busy trying to dig dirt by sending rogue SA William Bannister when he is full of it himself. Amazing how that works, criminals believe because they are a criminal everyone else must be too and when they can’t find any dirt, they will make -it- up and when they see what they make-up, doesn’t work, they set -it- up and when they see that can’t get you, they haunt, taunt, gangstalk and terrorize you hoping they will force your/our suicide and when that doesn’t work, they murder you in a car intentional, written as a single car accident or some hospital injection or satellite beamed disease. EVIL! I do not even feel like editing this blog, it is what it is! This is to long, do I feel better after this cathartic release – hmmmm????? Either God is going to keep me or he isn’t, but I am not going to let their demonic burn notice or blackball lists control or censor my pain, heartache and hurt ache to a private torture – fuck them. Evil ass life ruiners.