Hi, it’s me again – Blogging,
One of the challenges that I want to make sure that I do not convey and that is complaining. I want to convey truth and facts without complaints, anger, self-pity or rage. I imagine this is why it has taken me so long to document the ills of my personal Bully Terrorism experience. What I hope to gain is healing and help for anyone who may find themselves thrust into such a terrorizing experience – God forbid you do.
The reason this is a Part 2 is because my daughter asked me to post Part 1 to this blog. Part 1 speaks to childhood bullying which is devastating on all levels. My blog is more geared towards workplace Bullying/Terrorism, i.e. meaning adults who engage in such wicked behavior. Perhaps adult Bullying is an extension of childhood Bullying. Can one say once a Bully always a Bully – hmmmm not sure. I will say that I believe our childhood experiences impact how we behave as adults and treat others, be it negative or positive.
Whether adult or child, Bullying is devastating and scars are left on earth forever, hence the “haunting forever” of which my Bully threatened other employees with or at least one that I am aware of. However; the fact that one can express such a sentiment, suggests to me – there is a history of carried through threats.
So as an adult what type of scarring does Bullying/Terrorism leave on adults. We are adults and we are suppose to be able to handle life’s challenges – correct. We are suppose to count it all as joy. We are not suppose to complain. I mean after all, if we are aware of the story of Jesus, Job, Paul and perhaps countless others, one may say/ask – why are you complaining, get over it, deal with it, geez Louise it has been five years, when will you cease expressing this and get on with your life. Do you ever find it interesting that someone who has not walked in your shoes have all the answers? Clearly, I am not abdicating love, advice and concern that may be helpful.
Some of you may be aware of a radio show that I developed as a way to release my pain. The show was entitled Bullies On Blast and I hosted the show through Voice America Radio. I believe I did 26 episodes give or take a few. One of the ladies I interviewed is named Dr. Lisa Barrow. I asked Dr. Barrow, also targeted , mobbed, gangstalked – how long did it take her to overcome her painful experience. She said 10 years. I was like wow! Scarring for 10 years and she is one of the victors, others can’t cope with the pain and commit themselves to a mental institution or commit suicide, leaving others to bear the pain and scars. (more on this in a future blog). Dr. Barrow’s truth was so compelling, that she was a two times guest on the show. Episode 10_ Bearing The Bully Burden(02012011) and Episode 11_ Bullycide Trucide2 To date it has been five years and counting and somehow I am not seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. I do not intentionally try to minimize others experiences, but I do say, but yours wasn’t to this magnitude. The magnitude to the point I could genuinely have a show, Everyone hates Dawn. To the magnitude of one beast somehow with the power to engage the Government to help in his witch hunt to destroy me.
When I play this tragic scenario over in my head, I say things like, but I never did anything to him – NOTHING, I was never disrespectful or insubordinate, so what in the world did I do to make this beast inflict such hate and harm that will be earth lasting. I shun the ever, because I’d like not to think, I’d carry this into heaven. I often say the force that he inflicted, one would think I stole drugs from the drug cartel or money from the mafia. It is just that deep, something clearly blockbuster material. This experience is beyond your average run of the mill Bullying, if there is such a thing, because suicide, rape, murder, bogus burn notices is not run of the mill at least in my book or from my life experiences.
Then I say things like well, perhaps this is my consequence, chastisement from being a sinner, from being disobedient and not living a righteous life. Whatever the scenario or perhaps a hybrid, it is something that I would not want anyone in the present or future to experience. I am not sure how long it will take me to heal from this heinous hue hate, but I am striving to do so. I am extremely passionate about this hate, maybe even to a fault, because I am a do or die type of person. Sacrificial Lamb, Martyr if it means one person will be saved from this type of tragic experience.
I will say that although the scars run deep from Bullying and Terrorism, never take matters into your own hands. Never kill, anyone because of the pain, barring self-defense. Yes, all vectors point to helplessness, hopelessness, but murder and suicide is NOT the answer. I recall reading about people going into the workplace and killing people. I never understood that then. I would say nothing is that bad, well, I can no longer say that. While I do not agree with workplace violence or violence of any kind. I no longer say nothing is that bad, because I have now walked in similar shoes and I understand more now about the demented evils of this society which I never had a clue about before. I was insulated or just plain sleepwalking in ignorance. I can truly say that I am scarred but awake now.